The Art of Releasing What no longer serves you

Hello Beautiful Self!

It is time we dive into another part of mindful living … the art of releasing. I call it an art, because it really is an art. Releasing or letting go is hard for everyone. You are not alone in that. However, we all need to let go of things that no longer serve us. Once we have become aligned with our mindful observations and are aware of what is either no longer serving us, what we have outgrown, or what is flat our holding us back we need to release it. Let it go … say Bye Bye and thanks for all the fish! I have no idea why that Douglas Adams line just popped into my mind, but there you go …. humor for a difficult topic. Release. Let go. Let be.

Sometimes, all we have to do to let go is just let something be. Let it take a natural course away from you. There are relationships and situations in our life where we are the driving force. When that relationship or situation is a cause of negativity, stress, toxic patterns and behaviors or whatever about it is no longer in alignment with your greater good and you are the driving force in keeping that relationship going simply stop feeding it. Stop giving it all the time and energy you have been and let the natural course take place. In many situations it will just fade away from you when you allow yourself to put your energy elsewhere.

Other relationships require more active roles to disengage and release. Relationships where lives are physically, financially, or purposefully combined on a day to day basis are the most difficult to release. The stigma of changing life, career, home, and community can be huge. I have personally experienced both the healing and wounding of leaving a long-term relationship, career, and home that was the “American Dream” on the outside, but in my reality my waking nightmare.

Side note; I was able to post-vaccine connect with longtime friends and heart family this weekend. Through our overview catching up I learned that after 7 years divorced my ex-husband is still bad mouthing me for leaving him. Once, this would have made me withdraw, now I no longer care what he thinks or what mud he slings for he is stuck in the mud and I have blossomed like the water lily rising out of the mud. My life is more aligned with myself and my greater good. I have a happiness I never thought I would have, because I aligned with my mindfulness and did the scary thing. I released what was not only not serving me, but what was suffocating me.

Which brings me to the next point on releasing. Releasing isn’t just about letting go, but aligning with your personal power. Things don’t feel right to us or work in our life when you live out of alignment with who you are. When you do not know yourself or live to please others through expectation, societal demands, yearning for love or whatever your reason is for not living in self alignment or Know Thyself, then you either give away your power or simply ignore the fact that you have power.

Were you aware that you had personal power? You have choices, you have free will, you have hopes, dreams and the ability to be in alignment with yourself. You can serve your needs and be of service to the greater good. This is not mutually exclusive. But first, you have to get really clear on what is and is not working for you. Sometimes it will feel like nothing in your life is working and that is okay. We don’t have to climb to the top of the mountain today. What we do have to do is put one foot forward and be aware that things aren’t serving us.

So where do you start? pick something small. For example, I have an ongoing struggle with soda or pop, whatever you call it. I do great for a long time, then start drinking it again which leads to over drinking it. Going cold turkey doesn’t work for me, so I need to ween myself off it. There is a lovely lavender and honey tea that I like, so I make sure to have that in the house. After my first pop, the next time I get that sugary craving I make the cup of tea and have that instead. By doing this, I am currently down to 1 soda a day from 3. I would love to cut it out all together and I will get there. Small steps. Each step forward build the confidence and momentum to move forward.

Where will you start today? What is your plan if you stumble or struggle in releasing? How can you give yourself creative, loving support that is in alignment with your goals? Drop a comment and let me know.

In Loving Kindness,
Irisa

Mindfulness Begins with Observation

The Little Things? The Little Moments? They aren’t little.

John Kabat-Zinn

Majority of our lives are made up of the small, the mundane, the unnoticeable. Hollywood and the shape of modern American society have set expectations that life is full of large noticeable moments. Imagery of sun glinting off our smiles indicate health and stress free living. I don’t know about you, but when I step out the door I am not taking any moment to pause. I typically am concerned with keeping the toddler from running straight across the street to pet the neighbors dog (cars be damned!) or the overzealous puppies from darting out the door.

Photography, videos and advertisements have taught us what perfection should look like. Social media has brands for all parts of life from hot mess moms to Pinterest moms. When is the last time you saw a mom with messy hair, sleep deprivation and pajama clad wandering the late night market for cold medicine for a kid on social media as the new trend?

I call bullshit. What all of that has done is set us up for unrealistic expectations so someone else can promote their thing (which I don’t fault anyone for promoting their thing). However, that is not an accurate representation of daily life. Life is messy, chaotic, confusing, and emotional. There are productive and focused moments. There are moments where you lose your train of though because the voices of Donald and Goofy float in from another room accompanied by a child’s giggles … this is a moment. A real, live beautiful moment. Did it derail my train of thought, yes. Is it worth hearing his laughter and joy? Absolutely.

When I was younger I was so into the flow of things that I got in trouble for being different. I wanted to sit and watch the sun on a leaf instead of being in cheer. That wasn’t the image for girls my age so off to cheer I went. Social Imagery has a powerful impact on perceptions and expectations. These perceptions and expectations can take the place of personal realities and norms if we are not mindful of our truth.

Gorgeous photography, trending news, apps and the like are fascinating. They serve as a distraction from our everyday and give us things to discuss with co-workers and acquaintances which can help with relationship building. However, the distractions can warp our perceptions of ourselves.

Mindfulness assists us in bringing us back to our life and our moments. When we accept that our life will have more small moments than large a relief can wash over us. Carrying a constant expectation that life is going to have a string of major changes/announcements/moments is asking ourselves to constantly be ON. Instead of being ON, be mindful.

Cultivating a practice of mindfulness will increase the likelihood of finding the opportunities that are in front of us as they are instead of looking for opportunities with a preconceived notion of how they should appear. The more we can focus on the moment and see it for what it is the easier our life will be. Removing preconceptions from our lives is a game changer.

Suddenly, we aren’t worried about doing things the way someone else said we should but finding the solution for ourselves that aligns or fits with who we are and how our life flows. Mindfulness matters. Mindfulness brings awareness to ourselves of what is or is not working. By identifying how we are feeling in the moment we identify what isn’t working. Once we acknowledge what isn’t working then we can make the shifts and changes needed for peaceful living.

Simple ways to begin mindful living:

• Observe how you feel when asked to commit to something. What is the first answer that runs through your mind? What is the answer that left your mouth? Do they match?
• Observe if you have a default answer to any commitment question. Are you the person that will always say yes or are you the one people ask for a short time and then stop because they know the answer is no? If you have an auto-default on answering, why is that?
• Observe your physical body when speaking with people or doing tasks. Do some people leave your body feeling tight and sore? Are you relaxed with most interactions? What do you think your body is telling you about your interactions?
• Observe your mental state when doing tasks or interacting with people. Does a task wear you out or leave you energized? Do you get grumpy and bitchy or remain calm? Is there dread or peace associated with this task?
• Observe your emotional state when doing tasks or interacting with people. Are you worn out at the thought of having to interact with this person? Does a social event fill you with dread or peace? Do holidays have you buying a bottle of whiskey and making an escape plan before going somewhere? Does this invitation feel like an obligation you must do or fill you with joy?

Pick one place and begin your observations with mindfulness. No judgement just observe. I recommend that you take the time to journal your observations. This will allow you to notice trends and patterns.

Take a breathe. Reflect. Be Mindful and reclaim your life.
Irisa

Mantra for Acceptance

Mantra’s are words or sounds repeated in meditation. They are an excellent tool for self-improvement and building self-confidence. Recently, I have been introducing my children to mantras to help them accept the new reality that they live with.

Today, we worked together to create some mantras to begin our day with. I have a version for kids, teens and adults. Hopefully, this will assist you with your work in accepting the changes in our world and encourage you to write your own.

Namaste’. WaterLily Nature and Nurture Homeschool and Sassy Viking Mama

kids-new-day-mantra-1Download

teen-new-day-mantra-1Download

adult-new-day-mantra-1Download