Mindfulness Cycle

There is a cycle to mindfulness:

Awareness of our thoughts and feelings at the current moment,

Thoughts will wander or become distracted through outside distractions,

Realizing our thoughts have wandered,

Bringing our focus back to the thought, feeling, and activity of the moment

Why does the cycle of mindfulness matter?
I believe the most important part of learning mindfulness is to understand that the job of the mind is to think. It is not designed to stay still, so our thoughts will wander. Our goal is to know when our mind is wandering and develop the discipline to bring our thoughts and feelings (awareness) back to the moment that we are currently experiencing.

Why do I want to practice mindfulness?
Does this sound like another think to add to your to-do list? Like any new skill it does take some time and dedication to develop. However, once you develop this skill it actually lessons your to-do list.

When you begin to live mindfully, you are more aware of your thoughts and feelings. This may sound as thought it will make life more complicated, but it makes things easier. When you know what you are feeling. When you understand how a situation or relationship is making you feel that awareness opens options for you. You now have the option to change how you act or react to a situation. You have the option to set boundaries. You have the option to change the direction your life is going.

Having awareness and options doesn’t mean that things will magically change overnight. What it does mean is that you have the knowledge to know what in your life is aligning you with joy, gratitude, and abundance and what is dragging your down, depleting you, and making you feel like life is being sucked out of you.

Most of us spend the bulk of our time working on our survival needs, which for most means making money. As such, for many individuals their work is either something they are deeply passionate about or they feel as though it is sucking the life out of them. If you feel passionate about your work, great! Continue with that but be sure to set time aside to avoid burnout.

If you feel work is sucking the life out of you or a necessary evil to pay the bills that is a huge message to yourself. Changing jobs is not always easy or convenient but there is always something we can do to begin to alleviate negative emotions until the larger change can happen.

When I worked in the finance industry, one of my roles was quality assurance of paperwork for the sales department of medical equipment. Month end in finance is always stressful as documentation and accounting have deadlines. Quality assurance means that you make sure all the legal requirements are being met; which meant long hours and a lot of people double checking your work. This also meant I had to make copies of things for each file.

That time at the copy machine is when I did a mindfulness exercise. I made sure that my focus was completely on putting the papers in the machine, pressing the buttons, watching the papers come out, separating the copies from the originals and returning to my desk. Boring yes, but those small moments gave me the break from all the commotion around me, constant interruptions, and demands of the job.

Those little mindfulness breaks kept me from only focusing on the stress of the day and allowed me to not become one giant ball of stress. Which made it easier for me to keep my actions and reactions more in alignment with the logic needed at work, rather than the emotions brought on by stress.

Mindful practices:
Awareness through the senses: Use your senses of Touch, Taste, Sight, Sound, and Smell to immerse yourself in the moment.

Live in the moment: Be truly open and accepting of what is happening in the current moment without expectation or judgement. This opens you to simple joy and gratitude.

Accept yourself: Do you give yourself the same loving kindness and compassion that you would give a friend or loved one?

Breathe Focus: Overwhelmed with emotions? Negativity or Anger getting the best of you? Exhausted? Stressed? Focus on the cycle of breathing for 10 breathes and see the change in your body, mind, and spirit. What is the cycle of breathing? Inhale deeply through the nose. Feel air travel into your nose, your lungs and diaphragm expand, pause and exhale feeling the slow release of air. Repeat.

Body Scan Meditation. Lie on your back, arms at your sides with the palms of your hands facing the sky. Focus your attention on each part of your body beginning with either the head or the toes. This is an awareness exercise to see how each part of your body feels; what messages it has to share. No judgements just connecting and listening.

Movement meditation. This can be done with any repetitive task (crochet, dishes, vacuum, folding towels, etc) Focus on the task at hand, when your mind wanders bring it back to the task at hand. This is perfect for practicing focusing on the moment. It also is helpful when feeling overwhelmed with emotions.

Sitting meditation. This can be done in a chair or on the floor. Be comfortable and your back straight but relaxed. Hands can be in your lap or on your thighs or knees. Palms up or down. Begin with breathe meditation. There are also guided meditations.
Walking meditation. Focus on the act of walking and connecting with the ground beneath you.

May mindfulness and loving-kindness guide your way,
Irisa

Joy as a Legacy

Wherever we go we leave an impression on a person through the way we make them feel. The Law of Attraction states that like attracts like. This is why we are drawn to particular people, situations or environments. When we purposefully align our energy with joy, we align ourselves with our personal truth and the Universe.

The more we work on listening to our heart the more we become aligned with our personal peace and passion. This aides us in creating a life that we adore. If we choose joy as the emotion to resonate with, this shifts our energy to put us in alignment with ourself and the Universe. Does aligning with joy mean that we are never going to be cranky or have a bad day? No, it does not. Will this mean that all our financial, physical, or relationship problems magically disappear? Unfortunately not.

What aligning with our personal joy to live a life of peace and passion means is that you will know more of who you are and what you want. This is how we choose relationships that bring us joy. Jobs that not only support us financially but don’t leave us feeling numb inside. Most importantly, this is how we decide on the boundaries that we do and do not need in our life, as well as the manner in which we will accept being treated.

Joy is your compass. Following joy will lead you to a life of peace and passion. When we operate from joy, peace and passion follow us. Our emotions guide us to when something is or is not working in our life. Recognizing this allows us to use our tools of meditation, mindfulness, and journaling to show up for ourselves and make the best decision for ourself.

Today, make a list of what is bringing you joy in your life. Then make a list of what is not. That’s the first step. Bring awareness to your situation. Once you are aware of your situation you can pick one thing that isn’t bringing you joy and use mindfulness to become more aware of the situation and see what about it doesn’t resonate with you. Once you can observe the facts without extreme emotions then you can begin to plan a course of action to change things.

Choose joy and begin to lead a life of peace, passion and alignment with yourself and the Universe. Joy is the compass to Know Thyself.

Blessings,
Irisa

Meditation & Mindfulness while Sick

Hello My Friends!

The last several days I have found myself relying heavily upon my meditation practice as I navigate three sick children under the age of ten. Joining lack of sleep has been our friends cranky, whining, and extra tears. Breathe meditations and mindfulness have helped me be more patient and present for everyone’s care right until I woke up sick and congested.

As I was moving around and realizing just how awful I felt in my body, I also noticed my mood. It sucked. I was grumpy and did not want to be a caretaker today. Beginning to breathe in to do a 10 breathe meditation I felt my inability to breathe through my nose happen and recognized this wasn’t going to work … now what?

Meditation while sick is helpful for your mood and your body. “When you can get into that quieter state of mind through meditation, your body isn’t releasing stress hormones into the bloodstream,” Jane Ehrman, Cleveland Clinic for Integrative Medicine.

I thought of doing some guided meditation and then realized I had the focus of a kitten following a laser pointer. So, I needed short focal points to help me relax and be mindful. I didn’t want to be snapping at my kids because I was feeling crappy.

One of my favorite methods to shift my mood is water. Off to the showers it was. As I let the lava hot waters rain over me, I visualized the dark ick rinsing off me and down the drain. When I began to feel lighter I visualized bright healthy healing waters running over my body strengthening me. As I worked on my mental state the steam and heat did wonders for me physical state. Out of the showers, I put on comfy clothes and made my way to the kitchen.

Back to water. I got a cold glass of water to rehydrate me and put a kettle on to make soothing tea. Each time I have been stressed or thirsty; I pause for a moment and ask my body hot or cold? tea or water? Then I answer the call by getting the requested water and focusing on the act of drinking for 10 sips. These moments help ground me in my body, environment, and mind.

Being grounded in yourself and environment is helpful when the cytokines affect the part of your brain that deals with emotions and reason. I find it helpful to be honest about any moodiness that I may be experiencing while ill. Expressing myself to those around me keeps any situation from escalating.

For example, I made it clear to my kids that I was aware I was grumpy and had less patience than normal because I didn’t feel well. I also made it clear that this was not their fault or their responsibility, but that I know I am struggling today and will do my best to not take my emotional state out on anyone around me. If they do find that I am taking things out on others they can can let me know that I may not be acting in loving kindness. We all need gentle reminders. Also, it let’s the small people in my life know that everyone is human.

Self awareness combined with self honesty are important to add into your mindfulness practice. Being aware of a situation, behavior and emotions of yourself and others does you no good if you cannot be real with yourself. Until you are willing to be real with yourself, you cannot be real with others.

If you feel sick you don’t have to let that derail your practice, but you may want to try alternative methods of meditation or mindfulness:

• Breathe meditation
• Guided meditation
• Sensory activities
• Mindful moments with water or tea
• Mindful body check-ins
• Focus Meditation on a plant, clouds, candle, etc

Mindfulness and meditation don’t need to stop because you are sick, but they may need to adjust to fit your physical, mental, or emotional state. Use this time to adapt your practice, be self aware and heal. Don’t push through what you always do just because it is habit. Don’t be a superhero and not rest. Adapt. Listen to your mind, body, and spirit. Take the time to heal and be the best you that you can.

Blessings,
Irisa

Celebrate You!

Hello Lovely People!

Today, we are going to step back from all the work you do on yourself and celebrate.

You work hard. You strive to grow. You work on alignment. But do you celebrate?

When have you applauded yourself on your accomplishments?

When have you stopped to enjoy this version of yourself?

Today, do something luxurious and celebratory for yourself. Celebrate you! I have enclosed one affirmations to help you get into the groove of celebrating you!

Blessings,

Irisa

The Art of Releasing What no longer serves you

Hello Beautiful Self!

It is time we dive into another part of mindful living … the art of releasing. I call it an art, because it really is an art. Releasing or letting go is hard for everyone. You are not alone in that. However, we all need to let go of things that no longer serve us. Once we have become aligned with our mindful observations and are aware of what is either no longer serving us, what we have outgrown, or what is flat our holding us back we need to release it. Let it go … say Bye Bye and thanks for all the fish! I have no idea why that Douglas Adams line just popped into my mind, but there you go …. humor for a difficult topic. Release. Let go. Let be.

Sometimes, all we have to do to let go is just let something be. Let it take a natural course away from you. There are relationships and situations in our life where we are the driving force. When that relationship or situation is a cause of negativity, stress, toxic patterns and behaviors or whatever about it is no longer in alignment with your greater good and you are the driving force in keeping that relationship going simply stop feeding it. Stop giving it all the time and energy you have been and let the natural course take place. In many situations it will just fade away from you when you allow yourself to put your energy elsewhere.

Other relationships require more active roles to disengage and release. Relationships where lives are physically, financially, or purposefully combined on a day to day basis are the most difficult to release. The stigma of changing life, career, home, and community can be huge. I have personally experienced both the healing and wounding of leaving a long-term relationship, career, and home that was the “American Dream” on the outside, but in my reality my waking nightmare.

Side note; I was able to post-vaccine connect with longtime friends and heart family this weekend. Through our overview catching up I learned that after 7 years divorced my ex-husband is still bad mouthing me for leaving him. Once, this would have made me withdraw, now I no longer care what he thinks or what mud he slings for he is stuck in the mud and I have blossomed like the water lily rising out of the mud. My life is more aligned with myself and my greater good. I have a happiness I never thought I would have, because I aligned with my mindfulness and did the scary thing. I released what was not only not serving me, but what was suffocating me.

Which brings me to the next point on releasing. Releasing isn’t just about letting go, but aligning with your personal power. Things don’t feel right to us or work in our life when you live out of alignment with who you are. When you do not know yourself or live to please others through expectation, societal demands, yearning for love or whatever your reason is for not living in self alignment or Know Thyself, then you either give away your power or simply ignore the fact that you have power.

Were you aware that you had personal power? You have choices, you have free will, you have hopes, dreams and the ability to be in alignment with yourself. You can serve your needs and be of service to the greater good. This is not mutually exclusive. But first, you have to get really clear on what is and is not working for you. Sometimes it will feel like nothing in your life is working and that is okay. We don’t have to climb to the top of the mountain today. What we do have to do is put one foot forward and be aware that things aren’t serving us.

So where do you start? pick something small. For example, I have an ongoing struggle with soda or pop, whatever you call it. I do great for a long time, then start drinking it again which leads to over drinking it. Going cold turkey doesn’t work for me, so I need to ween myself off it. There is a lovely lavender and honey tea that I like, so I make sure to have that in the house. After my first pop, the next time I get that sugary craving I make the cup of tea and have that instead. By doing this, I am currently down to 1 soda a day from 3. I would love to cut it out all together and I will get there. Small steps. Each step forward build the confidence and momentum to move forward.

Where will you start today? What is your plan if you stumble or struggle in releasing? How can you give yourself creative, loving support that is in alignment with your goals? Drop a comment and let me know.

In Loving Kindness,
Irisa

How to Listen to Yourself

Listening by Rumi

What is the deep listening? Sama is a greeting from the secret ones inside the heart, a letter. The branches of your intelligence grow new leaves in the wind of this listening. The body reaches a peace. Rooster sound comes, reminding you of your love for dawn. The reed flute and the singer’s lips: the knack of how spirit breathes into us becomes as simple and ordinary as eating and drinking. The dead rise with the pleasure of listening. If someone can’t hear a trumpet melody, sprinkle dirt on his head and declare him dead. Listen, and feel the beauty of your separation, the unsayable absence. There’s a moon inside every human being. Learn to be companions with it. Give more of your life to this listening. As brightness is to time, so you are to the one who talks to the deep ear in your chest. I should sell my tongue and buy a thousand ears when that one steps near and begins to speak.

~Rumi

Meditation can be a form of listening to ourselves. When we become aware of our busyness and our stillness we perceive ourselves and our place in the world differently. This is the place we learn what troubles us, brings us joy and the place we are dwelling. Knowing where our thoughts dwell is vital to our state of mindful living. If we do not know where our thoughts dwell, we do not know where we are expending our energy. What we most focus on is what we create.

Begin by listening to your breathe. After you have settled into your breathe and been its companion for a time; you will know that you have come to this point when just sitting and breathing is a simple joy that you look forward to, extend your listening to your body. Listen to what your body is saying through pain, tightness, uncomfortable feelings, loose feelings. Start at the top of your head and check in with each part of your body. Simply listen to what your body tells you. Once you feel you have heard your body, ask it what it needs. Are you lacking water, rest, movement, different foods, more of this?

The next step to listening is to check in with yourself or your spirit. Ask if there is anything your spirit would like to say to you. This mindful listening lets your whole self communicate. Those subconscious observations, thoughts, and feelings have an opportunity to surface. Intuition and insight have room to be heard.

After your have listened to your body, mind, and spirit you will once again focus on listening to the world around you. We rush about our days so much that we lose connection to where we are. Close your eyes and use your senses to observe the place you find yourself. Connect with the environment around you. What do you hear? smell? feel? Lastly, what do you see?

Come back to the present by taking three slow deep breathes. Then thank your body, mind, and spirit for the time spent together. Now is a good time to do something soothing and grounding such as: journal, yoga, tend to a living creature, garden, pray, or drink water. Do something for the next five minutes that deepens your connection to this moment and grounds you back into your body and your surroundings.

Deepen the connection within and you deepen your world,
Irisa

The Journey to Know Thyself

It has been some time since I posted but writing on the topic of Know Thyself has been a priority. I have been working on a book to Know Thyself through Nature and Nurture, using tools of meditation, mindfulness, and journalling. One of the biggest questions that has come up as I have shared what I am doing is why the topic of Know Thyself.

I believe that each of us have instances that disconnect us from ourselves. There are life events such as trauma, scenarios that lead to people pleasing, relationships, work situations, school situations, and simply life that constantly throws new scenarios, opportunities, input, and challenges towards us. Depending on what is happening we have the best of choices and time to reflect on how that fits with who we are or a variety of reaction and actions up to and including survival mode.

I don’t know anyone that was raised to take self care time to make sure they know who they are from a young age and take time to make sure they are acting, reacting, and making life choices that keep them connected with who they are. What I have both experienced and seen in others is following life opportunities as they arise. A prime example is a job that is either a necessity or appears to be the perfect job. Weeks or months later the shine has worn off and going to work tears the individual apart mentally and physically. I spent many mornings crying my entire way into and from a corporate job that I had. Other examples include: Visiting a family member has you physically dreading the experience or worse yet you numb out with drinking to deal with the experience. Hanging out with a friend that everyone else loves in your life, makes you feel miserable because you don’t want to do so.

All of these instances are feelings telling you that you aren’t living in accordance with your truth. That certain people and situations are not feeding your soul, but eating away at it. Know Thyself is self care, self knowledge and personal power. It is not a stagnate part of you, but one that is mutable and ever-evolving, as you are ever growing and changing your self knowledge and self awareness should. By making the self care to Know Thyself a part of your awareness and checking in with yourself and having the tools to Know Thyself a regular part of your self care routine I believe that each of us can create a life truly connected to who we are and what has meaning to us. This in turn leads us to a life filled with relationships and opportunities that feed us, in stead of eating away at our soul.

Knowing who we are and what we want or need makes creating personal boundaries, personal space, self care, and speaking what we need for ourselves in loving kindness (sometimes firmly) a lot easier and a lot less scary. I spent too many years trying to find a reason why I felt one way, but well-meaning family and friends told me I should be happy living XYZ way. I was miserable with the life I was living. People told me I was ungrateful because I had what everyone dreamed of. When I explained they weren’t my dreams, I was told I was selfish. No, I was being honest about my truth, but I wasn’t in a place to be seen and heard. However, I could have saved myself so much heartache if I had known that it was okay to not want what others want. It is okay to have different dreams. It is okay to want a different way of life.

We all need to Know Thyself and how to express that in loving kindness. Then we need to find ways to live in alignment with who we are and what we want. I believe that if people Know Themselves more and live out societal and familial expectations less, we would have a lot more happiness and loving kindness in the world. After all, it is difficult to live and share loving kindness when we are not happy with ourselves and our personal situation.

I hope you continue to join me in the journey to Know Thyself.
Irisa

A Valentine’s Weekend Guide in Pandemic times

Social events are stressful at the best of times. The pressures that come along at Valentine’s day are high in pre-pandemic culture. Now, reflections on relationships plus all the changes in socializing have a lot of people stressed out.

The best advice that I can give is to breathe. While going out, dating and sex are fun this weekend doesn’t have to be about any or all of that. Focus on love and loving kindness. You don’t have to have a partner or be spending time with them this weekend to be in the presence of love.

If you are single or by yourself this weekend, you can still fill your weekend with love and loving kindness. Who loves you more than you? Who knows you more than you? If you don’t feel all that loving towards yourself at the moment, this is a fantastic opportunity to take yourself on a date. You don’t even have to leave the house.

Are you in a relationship and spending time with someone or multiple someones? Good for you, but you still can take time either for yourself or loving time in your relationship(s). Also, you don’t have to leave the house and spend a fortune.

Some honest self reflection can tell you what will make you feel most loved at this moment in your life. A journal and meditation can help you with this. Start out with a simple breath meditation:

Breathe 1-2-3
Hold 1-2-3
Exhale 1-2-3

Breathe 1-2-3
Hold 1-2-3
Exhale 1-2-3

Breathe 1-2-3
Hold 1-2-3
Exhale 1-2-3

Then focus on the question: what will make me feel loved?

Anytime your mind wanders from that question, breathe and bring that question to the forefront. The journal is there for you to write or draw anything that comes to mind. It may be images or words, thoughts or feelings.

One of my love languages is cooking for those I love. My kids are missing spreading love to others so I told them we could bake this weekend. They are super excited about that. Continuing with the foodie theme, I purchased boneless pork ribs, a favorite of my husbands and he is looking forward to time cooking for us. Me, I plan on savoring time with them and then taking time for a long, hot, uninterrupted shower and working on the book I am writing on Know Thyself. Know Thyself is a lifelong passion that you will be hearing more about.

There is absolutely nothing fancy about this coming weekend for us, but there will be activities that express our love and down time to do things that we love. Expressing love to ourselves and each other will be the focus of our weekend. Hopefully, we will feel more connected to ourselves and each other after this weekend.

Be mindful of how you can give yourself loving kindness this weekend. If you have someone in your home with you this weekend, in what manner can you express loving kindness? What loving kindness do you want or need to receive from those in your home?

I hope that you have honest self reflection on the love that you need this weekend and can communicate that need to yourself and those in your life with loving kindness and be received in love.

In Loving Kindness,
Irisa

Mindfulness and Goals

As the optimism of the New Year Resolutions fade, let’s focus on how we can use the practice of mindfulness to maintain and achieve our most important goal for ourself in 2021.

The practice of mindfulness can guide your on the journey to attain the goals that you wish for yourself and your life. Comment with the number one goal that you wish for yourself this year and we can discuss how mindfulness can help you achieve this goal!

Comment below or come to the facebook community that is just beginning!

https://www.facebook.com/SmartSassyTribe

Mindfulness + Observation = Awareness

Mindfulness is a skill that we have within us. Like many skills, we need to nurture and cultivate them so they can continue to improve bringing more value to our life. Where does one begin to cultivate mindfulness?

First, we have Observation + No Judgement = Mindfulness. After a period of observation without judgement that skill becomes a part of who we are. Did we slip and forget to not judge? Did we act or react without observing the situation? Totally cool, just take a breathe or five until we can slide back into our vibe of mindfulness.

Once you have this established practice of mindful observation without judgement in your life an automatic awareness is built into your life. Fantastic right! Now what? So you have been observing without judgement and that has made you more aware of what is happening in your life with habits, relationships, and the actions and reactions of yourself and others.

This awareness is where we begin to make mindful choices. Choices can be scary, especially in the times that it feels as though we have no good choices. However, being aware that we have a choice to continue as we are without making any changes or make a change that is mindful of our true self is honest self awareness.

Honesty with ourselves though mindfulness can and will bring massive change to your life. This change starts with internal awareness of yourself, your life moments and the actions and reactions that you give. The honesty begins when we are not only aware of the action or reaction that we are giving to a present moment, but when we begin to act or react in a way that is aware and authentic to who we are and what we want and need.

This can be done with loving kindness because we are first observing, then acting or reacting without judgement. Removing judgement from our moments allows us to make space for awareness of the emotions that we are feeling and sharing with our actions and reactions. Sharing anger becomes intentional and not reflexive. Expressing joy becomes a choice instead of suppressing your light.

How can you live in mindfulness today?

What mindful observations have you made about yourself or any one situation today?

Are these observations in alignment with your loving kindness or not?

I hope these prompts aid you in your path of mindfulness.
Irisa